Friday, June 18, 2010

I have the solution to BPs mess!

From what I understand, BP et al, are taking suggestions from any Tom, Dick or Harry.  With that being said, I’ve had some inspiration circa 1998:

NASA discovered that there is an asteroid roughly the size of Texas heading towards the Earth, and when it does hit the Earth, the planet itself and all of its inhabitants will be obliterated, worse, the asteroid will hit the Earth in 18 days. Unfortunately, NASA's plans to destroy the asteroid are irrelevant. That is when the U.S. military decides to use a nuclear warhead to blow the asteroid to pieces. Then, scientists decide to blow the asteroid with the warhead inside the asteroid itself. The only man to do it, is an oil driller named Harry Stamper.  Harry says he can't train men how to drill in ten days, so he brings in his own team of roughnecks to learn to become astronauts and get the job done. 

- Armageddon

Did you recognize the movie plot?  Doesn’t hurt to play Aerosmiths "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" in the background which I heard yesterday on the radio.

Loss of life is no laughing matter, and I am about to put myself out on a limb here with a controversial line of thinking, but here goes…

Don’t we have any patriotic roughnecks that we could send down in James Cameron’s private submarine to fix what a diamond drill bit can’t?

The crew might be on a suicide mission, but sacrificing a few white collar criminals with engineering backgrounds feels okay to me in order to save the rest of the Gulf.  And they don’t even have to be criminals. How about just a few bonafide heroes – willing to do whatever it takes?

Let’s take a page from J. J. Abrams wonderful screenplay:

Harry Stamper: None of you have to go. We can all just sit here on Earth, wait for this big rock to crash into it, kill everything and everybody we know. United States government just asked us to save the world. Anybody wanna say no? 
Chick: 20 years. Haven't turned you down once. Not about to start now. I'm there. 
Freddy Noonan: Guess I can't let you go up there alone. 
Bear: I'm with you. 
Oscar: Man, this is - this is historic. Guys, this is, like, deep blue hero stuff! Of course I'm in. 
Rockhound: While I don't share *his* enthusiasm, you know me. Beam me up, Scotty! 
Harry Stamper: You all right, Max? 
Max: I-I don't, I-I don't... Whatever you think. 
Harry Stamper: [to A.J] How about you? 
A.J.: I'm in. 
Harry Stamper: All right then. We go. 
Rockhound: I don't mean to be the materialistic weasel of this group, but do you think we'll get hazard pay out of this?

And don't worry Rockhound, I'm pretty sure if your mission is successful that Barack will earmark a substantial hazard pay package for you and the crew.

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